Self-doubt is the whispers in your brain that sneak up on you in the quiet hours of the night..
They whisper and cajole you into believing their little black lies..you aren't good enough that's why no one wants you, you aren't talented enough that's why you haven't made it as a famous writer..
You sit and less to their cacophonic screams inside your head and feel the hot tears course down your cheeks in silent dread..Maybe it's true..maybe everyone has only told you what you have wanted to hear all those times and through all your fears..
Someone, please tell me how to quell those demons of mine..I’m tired of their haunting me each night. I was happy and bright once upon a time, but now I’m just a gray and boring shadow of what I once was…
I want to be bullet proof and brave once more..but I lack the skill set to act up on my wants..I never was a good damsel in distress, but I fear that I have become locked away by own self-doubts and regrets..
They tell you they love, give you sweet dreams and rainbow days,
But then things change in less then a heart beat and you know that
Only sadness and tears lie at the end of the rainbow.
Distance creeps in and the wolves howl at the door and you know
No hero is coming to your rescue because he is to far and too distant to care.
You watch as each sweet dream becomes an insane nightmare and
You realize that there never have been happily ever afters…
At least not for you..and you slowly sink back into the pit of despair.
You try your best to be everything to everyone..people pulling you this way and that.
Don’t they know that your best is never good enough?
All you do is mess the world that you know up and nothing you do make it better.
From the corner of your eye you see that yawning deep pit that once you crawled out of.
The monster at the bottom whispers sweet ideas of ever lasting peace and quiet.
It beckons and cajoles you that things are always better in the heart of darkness,
And you wonder if it’s true.
No one would miss you if you let that darkness over take you..they would all be better off.
This you know and slowly you let yourself sink down into the folds of that silky darkness.
You look at the monster that has been hiding there and realize that the monster is you.
Your last thought as the darkness slips over you..where have the heroes gone?
Then ever lasting oblivion and you don’t care anymore.
Once life had meaning and joy..now it’s nothing but darkness and regret.
Was I stupid, should I have believed the pretty words and wonderful dreams?
Yes, pretty words are just lies in disguise and dreams always end up in ashes at your feet.
Now you sit, in the dark, and the desperate voices in your own brain yell
For you to stop the pain that what you have gone through keeps inflicting.
You feel the salty tears caress your face, and you know ending the pain would be easy.
But then you realize that you don’t have the guts to finish, that pain is a reminder
And the darkest time comes to an end as the sunlight breaks the sky.
Well, at least it ends until the sun sets again and you know you are alone.